When one of your friends only contact you when they need something. I don’t mind helping someone if I can help, but at the same time I don’t like being used.
Learn your circle of friends…
I’ve come to the conclusion while being poor and black it’s incredibly hard at times having some friends who are rich and white. (I only experience this behavior with one friend though and we’ll just call this friend J.) Yes I’m the black poor friend to the rich white friend.
Let me say that this has nothing at all to do with the fact of someone being rich, it’s about the negative behavior some rich white people have toward poor people who aren’t white.
I grew up with mostly white people and some of them I’m still friends with ~ who are very down to earth, as well as enjoyable to be around. However, J is still somewhat a new friend of mines from a different city with a Deep South upbringing. Yes J is of course a nice person but, J seem to always give a dig here and there about their upper class lifestyle (kinda like “I’m rich and you’re not” or you’re black and I’m white, so you’ll never be as good as me attitude.) First off I’m not the insecure type person; my life is what it is right now. Yes I came from a low income single parent household and I’m still basically in the low income range right now. I’m not ashamed of that nor am I proud of it! Things happen unexpectedly at times that will set a person back such as, paying full price for college, paying for medical expenses, paying for the basic things in life, and my helping a few other people along the way. To me that seem so much more imperative than being an arrogant show off or belittle those who are less fortunate than me.
No I’m not necessarily saying that my friend J is a show off or anything, but sometimes J say things that just come off as very snobby and insulting.
Most of all I’m not ok with how J treat me sometimes. Like I’m not good enough to attend their parties or meet their family or even be seen with them around their other friends because my skin is brown, and I’m not rich. There’s moments when J will also try an downplay the fact that they’re rich, as if they’re really doing me a favor by trying to convince me their lifestyle isn’t at all what other people hype it up to be, but at the same time J will brag or joke about being rich in a subliminal way. For instance, J said to me so and so asked “Are you rich? Hahahaha.” Then there’s that time when J asked “Is that a new blouse, well that look nice on you this evening.” as if I didn’t look too nice the few times we seen each other previously. Oh, but as soon as this white woman walked in the room J smiled so big and greeted her with open arms. J always remind me that I’m not white… Another black person who was with me while visiting J said “Your friend seem racist!” That really set off red flags! So now I’m thinking maybe J is only friends with me because they needed a black friend so no one would think they’re racist. Don’t get me wrong, I do care about my friend J and I’m very happy for their success, but I just don’t know if our friendship is worth it anymore. I feel like I’m in this friendship all by myself ~ the poor black friend to the rich white friend.
Q for today is?
Friends are so great to have but,
have you ever wonder if one of your friends is just pretending to be your friend?
How to be part of my team
Send me an email if there’s a question you think I should ask my readers.
or send me a Q Topic on one of my social media pages with the question you think I should ask.
No bully or discrimination allowed.